July 30, 2015

Heartbreak, as Told By Amy WINEhouse

by RULA AL-NASRAWI

 

What kind of fuckery is this?

They tried to make me go to rehab

Cause I’ve been drinkin’

She’s so vacant, her soul is taken

I tread a troubled track

My odds are stacked

Yes I’ve been black but when I come back

It’s you I’m fighting for.

 

All I can ever be to you

Is the darkness that we knew,

You went back to what you knew

So far removed from all that we went through.

 

Sometimes I go out by myself, and I look across the water.

The sky above, a blaze that only lovers see

The shadow covers me

And it overpowers me

She is plagued with urgency

I lose it when you love me

What kind of fuckery are we?

 

Cause you’re my fella, my guy

Me and my head high 

And I’m so tired I can’t even cry

I died a hundred times

Love is a fate resigned. 

 

I cheated myself

Like I knew I would

And no I'm not ashamed but the guilt will kill you 

If she don't first 

I’ll go back to black

I refuse to let him go

Rhythm floods my heart

We wait for the blow. 

 

We only said goodbye with words. 

Straight up shook beside him. 

We put it in writing

But who are you writing for?

 

Like smoke, I hung around in the unbalanced

Lent you outsiders and my new Badu

He walks away

He still stands in spite of what his scars say

The sun goes down

And in my head I paint a picture

Fighting some unholy war

Just us on the kitchen floor

The tune tears me apart

And I swallow it whole.

 

 

So when the beat kicks in

Everything falls into place

I never wanted you to be my man

I just needed company

He takes the day

But I’m grown

My tears dry on their own

And I’ve been thinking

Can we be alone?

Don’t wanna get dependent on

Your time or who you spend it on.

 

You should be stronger than me

You did too much E,

Met somebody

Nowadays you don’t mean dick to me

Reciting my stomach standing still

I can’t help but dance

An ashtray rests on my cigarette pants

At his side 

And drunk on pride

I told you I was trouble

You know that I’m no good

And I go back to black.