Im into St. Francis of Assisi, ok?


I'm pretty sure my priest thinks I have the hots for him. Ok, laugh now, but I seriously called my therapist in New York and told her that we needed an emergency phone sesh because it really is that serious.

It's gotta be sinful, right? To have your priest thinking that you're into him? He's obviously reporting this information to God, and when I get to Heaven, and put in the request for that seafront property that I've been coveting (coveting- whoops) in Cuba, Gods gonna be all like, "You're gonna have to settle for Miami because remember the feast for St. Francis of Assisi year 2014, you squealed in front of your priest and, there's no squealing in Christianity."

But see, that's the thing, it isn't about the priest, I squealed for St. Francis.

Truth be told, I have the hots for San Fran. He and I have been going strong for about seven years- ever since I realized that he had the power to commune with the animals-and HELLO! Everyone knows that my Disney prince is Bambi's Dad so San Fran and I are obviously meant to be!

But when I got excited (when I squealed) about the fact that my church was having a celebration for the Feast Day of St. Francis of Assisi, my priest got all weird on me. He seriously walked away from the booth upon my discovery that Beirut (my guinea pig) was going to be baptized and um, he was the one in charge of the booth. So what do I do, stop squealing? Get over St. Francis? In the name of Bambi's dad, HELP!

My NYC therapist thinks I need to balance out my reactions. She thinks my bubbly personality (my squealing) attracts the wrong kind of attention, and gives people (and priests) the wrong impressions.

But will I lose a certain part of myself, if I stop being so bubbly? Will it cost me part of my personality? Where is the balance between reacting and over-reacting?

I'm participating in a little experiment and this experiment is called, squeal internally, but not externally. I don't have to limit my internal reaction of excitement at Beirut's baptism (OMG BEIRUT WAS BAPTIZED LETS LET THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW THAT MY GUINEA PIG WAS SAVED AND OMG OMG OMG) but, I can keep that external reaction to myself.

Besides, Gods probably not gonna be too happy when he finds out I've been pining over St. Francis. He'll probably downgrade my property in Miami or worse, banish me to Brooklyn.


Still love ya NYC xoxoxoxo