United Nations for Dummies
by RULA AL-NASRAWI
So last week was the 69th annual United Nations General Assembly (UNGA), here in New York City. For some, the UNGA is kind of as important as New York Fashion Week, except instead of people walking around with satellites on their heads, delegates are rocking power suits and leather shoes. The UNGA is an event virtually made for Libras. It’s an event designed to promote discussion and debate in an effort to move towards worldwide harmony. And it’s the only United Nations event which gives all member nations equal representation. Smells like Libra spirit to me.
Anyway, whether you care about the United Nations or not, I’m here to tell you that you probably should. Unless you plan on living your life like an ignorant jellyfish then be my guest. But for the rest of you, here is my 2014 UNGA list of highlights.
West Africa needs more help with ebola like, now.
Ok so in case you are living under a rock, ebola is back and it’s not a pretty sight. Ebola virus disease, EVD, whatever you want to call it, has an average fatality rate of 50 percent. The virus was discovered in 1976 and this current outbreak is the most severe one since then. Now with over 7,000 cases in West Africa and around 3,338 deaths, leaders are trying to make moves as fast as possible. Foreign Minister Samaur W. Kamara of Sierra Leone’s statements said, “We mobilized to meet this unfamiliar threat. But the staff, equipment, medicines and systems we had were inadequate and this slowed our effective response.”
Russia is bullying Ukraine and people are pissed.
Another major issue brought up repeatedly has been the fact that Russia and Ukraine are still not chill with each other. Just in the past year, Russia has sent in troops to the Ukraine and is suspected to be responsible for shooting down Malaysia Airlines Flight 17, last July. So yeah, people are pissed. At the UNGA, Latvian President Andris Bÿrzinÿ said Russia being in Ukraine “has defied the basic principles of the United Nations, uprooting the very foundation of the international system,” and that Moscow needs to get armed forces out of Ukraine ASAP and stop sending weapons to terrorist groups.
No peace in the Middle East, per usual.
OMG wait UN leaders are pushing for peace in the Middle East? Israel and Palestine are still fighting? There’s drama in the Middle East? Hm.
Climate change is screwing the Caribbean over.
The world is seriously changing y’all. And the first people to really feel it are living on the islands. This year, Nickolas Steele, the Minister for Foreign Affairs for Grenada, called these recent climate changes the “most terrifying” for all small islands. Literally the last thing I want to deal with on the beach is a polar ice cap headed my way. Help.
Leonardo DiCaprio is awesome, but needs to rethink his facial hair.
Alright. I will definitely admit that Leo gave an impressive speech on the Climate Summit on how we should all stop lying to ourselves and actually address what’s happening with the climate right now. I mean, he’s legit enough to be appointed as United Nations Messenger of Peace by UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon. By the way what even is a “Messenger of Peace”? Is that even a thing? Whatever, the point is, his speech was good. But like, dat ponytail and beard is another story.